What does it take to film a sex scene in a way that is professional, choreographed, and—most importantly—*consensual* …especially in Bollywood?

I recently had the opportunity to report and host a documentary for the BBC on the rising role of intimacy coordinators in India. I spent time with Neha Vyaso, one of the industry’s most sought-after experts (who has worked on TV shows, movies, even music videos), to find out how she’s reshaping the way sex and desire are depicted on screen.

I grew up in India watching movies that featured violent rapes always filmed from the male gaze while the heroine is violated and invokes God (“bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do”) or appeals to her relational sisterhood (rather than her personhood) — at the same time consensual touch of any kind was hidden behind flowers (read: Ridiculous ways Bollywood depicts sex) or sexualized in a tantalizing way that bared some skin but never showed actual intimacy.

I met Neha a couple times and I wish we could have run a long form interview with her about her own experiences as well as what it’s like to work in Bollywood, the resistance, the power structures, patriarchy and how that’s slowly, glacially changing. I was particularly moved by her own stories of having dealt with abuse and how her work, while challenging, is something she does for the girl she was and the women still navigating patriarchy. Sadly, we had to drop some of the stories because the BBC insists on the Right To Reply and we weren’t getting no replies from abusers…

I did also see Neha in action: conducting a workshop with two actors as they navigated the delicate choreography of a sex scene — simulating for me how she would balance a director’s vision with an actor’s boundaries, while they simulated being intimate.

As a journalist, I’m always looking for stories where the “old way” of doing things is being challenged by a better blueprint. This isn’t just about film; it’s about the evolution of workplace safety and communication.

Shout out to my wonderful producer and editor Louise Morris and the team at Overcoat Media for this opportunity.

Listen to the Documentary here

Please note that the views and opinions expressed in this blog are purely my own and do not necessarily reflect the official views, policy, or position of my employer, the BBC World Service. This is a personal project, and the BBC is not responsible for any content published here.